Still In Love With Food

While writing this post, I could still feel inside my stomach the "siopao" I ate an hour and a half ago which we bought in a gasoline station. With only 30-minute on hand given to me by Honey A infront of the computer, all I can think of is food - which I have been deprived of for soooo long.

If I could only be given a sane mind and enough time, here's the list of food I have been dying to eat (and drink):

1. Any Thai food from a genuine Thai restaurant! Yup, seems a very easy thing to do. With so many Thai restaurants around, I could just go any time and try anything. But then, I would prefer to eat with Honey A since he's the food expert between the two of us and I would not want to look ignorant when I enter unfamiliar ground.
2. Freshly brewed Kapeng Barako! I gave up coffee 6 months ago after a bout with insomnia. I crave for the taste every single day, but I easily get turned off by the thought of having to undergo the ordeal of being a zombie during the day.
3. Taba ng Talangka! Uhhhm, who could not enjoy it in a very hot cup of rice (make that double please). But then, age is taking its toll and I have to slow down with my cholesterol intake if I plan to see my grand children in the future.
4. Chocolate cakes (and more and more chocolate fudges). I was a cake lover until I became too weight conscious. Now, I just try to remember what it taste like when I feel the cravings.

Don't you just feel like eating when you read food? I do. But for now, enough of the thinking and back with Honey A. I'm nearing the 30-minute limit he has given me hehehe.

My Honey A

I have always believed that I was a low-maintenance girl. I line myself up with ordinary ones such that I end up choosing "regular" men. And then, something will always happen and I end up empty-handed in the end.

My relationship with Honey A was by far the longest I ever had. And mind you, it wasn't very easy. We have an unusual relationship, something fit for the silver screen. Lately I have been complaining that I just wanted a simple life. I started to get bored and entertain the thoughts of trying a different road. And then I realize that it has been a roller coaster ride. I have never grown wiser. As a friend puts it, it's always I who gives myself a headache. How can I not cherish the man who loves me more than anybody did? How can I not keep someone who accepts me just as I am, including my past with no pretensions? How can I not love this man who thinks of me every minute of the day?

How can I just not accept that I am not an ordinary girl who can never have an ordinary life? I have proven that first premise since way back when. It was just that little girl in me that seeks to defy what is written. Happiness can be found by counting our blessings. And sometimes I tend to ignore my blessings when I'm busy comparing what others possess.

Honey A is one of my blessings. I know that I could never find again such a gem who would love me through and through. Thank you my Honey for always being there.

The MAP

I took a Managerial Assessment Proficiency (MAP) last Wednesday and Thursday together with my counterparts in other branches. It was an evaluation on how far we are with regards to managing our job and our people. I was disappointed when I saw my overall result. At 29% overall proficiency, I fell short of my own standard. Until I heard from a co-worker that I was the top of the class. I got so damn high in Time Management, which drives me crazy since I have always been time conscious and I follow my time table, all the time.

I have always been a competitive person. But the problem lies in the fact that I compete with my own self rather with my contemporaries. I try to beat my own standard than compare my accomplishments with others. I have always been power-driven, as evidenced in my TMJ Disease (a.k.a grinding-of-teeth) which developed in my college years. The TMJ Disease manifests more on yuppies (like me) who are always stressed out even on the littliest things in life in quest of perfection.

I believe that I have slowed down a bit in the past few years. I have come to accept imperfections and have learned to embrace living. Atleast now, I don't have to count sheep just to get to sleep or rush every minute (ok ok, sometimes i still do) to get everything done.

Yesterday I got to see the movie Click starring Adam Sandler. I cried to death realizing how much the story is close to mine. Hard-driven people tend to focus on goals which are mostly worldy, and realize their mistakes when it's already too late. I don't want to reach that realization. As early as I can, I am teaching myself to go slow, and cherish each moment God has given me.

Ergo, thanks for that MAP. It has shown me where I currently stand, to know how much I need to improve to be a better person.

On Crushes

Honey A and I have been going on for 5 years now. And we had a commitment never to get attracted with other people anymore since we will be the the last persons in our lives.Tough! Does that mean that we can no longer have crushes or admire others? Honey A replied, Yes I still can, but on a case to case basis! Honey A is much, much older than me. And I respect the wisdom he has learned over the years. I take his word that he knows what he's talking about, and it's for our own good.

But then, i find it hard to supress admiration. People come in different packaging and there are times that we marvel those who have qualities we don't possess. Maybe it's easier to accept good-looking celebrities or articulate politicians. But how about a good-looking officemate who turns down flirting and yet keeps his family of 4 God-fearing? How about a hunk neighbor who comes home early, goes to the market instead of his wife and takes the kids to the park every Sunday? How about a boss who always talk about his wife and kids even on meetings? It's hard not to admire these guys because they make any woman envy their wives! Crushes are just admirations, and they cannot take you far if you know how to handle yourself. Life isn't perfect. And as long as there are imperfections, the adulation with other people will never end...

Hopeless Romanticism

For the Nth time, I got to see the movie 50 First Dates on cable before I logged on. It never failed to make me cry. Who could not wish to have somebody make you fall in love every single day of your life, and give up a long time dream at that? It always make me wonder if a situation like that could ever exist. The plot is somehow similar to that of The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. Oh boy, I couldn't let the book down and the pages were dripping wet by my tears by the time I finished it.

It so nice to dream sometimes -that someone would be willing to give his life to love you and make you happy. As they say, great love comes only once in a lifetime. And when it hits you, you should never let it go, for it will never come back again. I sound desperate huh. I also had my share of love(s). But as we grow older, things become very different. Its harder to see life like when you were younger - where its easier to smell the sweet fragrance of a flower. Now, being practical overcomes romance. The brain functions more than the heart. Then you feel empty at the end of the day, compared to the good ol' days where you experience cloud nine even if you date in a park or you use public utility vehicle just to go to a motel.

This morning, an officemate told me that I am very lucky to have a generous boyfriend who fills me up. The comment made me wonder, am I? Materially, maybe I am. But as a hopelessly romantic girl, I feel empty most of the time. Honey A is always busy with work and doesn't always have time to take me out. The last time we ate out or watched a movie was three (3) months ago! Sometimes it just pisses me off. But then, who's perfect? The best thing is that I know that he loves me and each person has his own expression of feelings (or Im just rationalizing my situation, gee!).

Until now, I miss the feeling of euphoria, the goose bumps and the sudden rush of blood on your face. For now, I'll just settle to the mushy movies:(

Finally....

How I have waited for this moment to create my own blog site and post at the serenity of my house...

I have been imagining what I was going to write since I got my laptop 4 days ago. I was so excited to press the keyboards and translate my thoughts into words. But now, the exhilaration overwhelms me and I don't even know where to start! Plus the fact that I'm quite rattled as I have my curfew at 12mn (oooh i feel like Cinderella huh) as I have promised my Honey A:(

Why Vanilla Republic then? Vanilla as we all know is the universal flavor which could go well with anything. And just like this writer who enjoys the extremes of this world, this blog may contain anything which anyone can imagine:)