A Hopeful Artist In Me

On our way home last Thursday from Makati, Honey A and I stopped by at Shell Station in Macapagal Ave. for a gas filling up. Luckily, there was a cut-off for some meter reading as soon as we parked the car. It was the time I chanced to see Ms. Irma Adlawan and her equally talented husband, Mr. Dennis Marasigan lining up after us.

More than 12 years ago, when I was working at Cultural Center of the Philippines as Usherette, I always see Ms. Irma and her fine acting under Tangahalang Pilipino (TP). I knew Dennis way back in 1987 when I enrolled at TP's Children's Acting Workshop. He was one of our speakers specializing on Stage and Lighting Design. It was only in the early 90's that I discovered that the two are a couple.

I admire Ms. Irma for transcending beauty and age. She doesn't possess the usual showbiz glamour face yet she can outshine anybody on stage and on screen. Moreover, she's already in her early 40's (i think), but lately I read good reviews on the sexy but challenging role she had in a movie (Pusang Gala). This woman really has a talent. What I admire more is how these two artists manage their work and relationship. Dennis was once asked if he meddles with the script (or Irma's decision) in case his beloved wife gets obscene roles. And he said that, they are both artists, and role playing is Irma's job. Wow!

That night also brought me to the not so distant past when I was in the crossroad of choosing a career in stage acting and choosing a "regular" life. I knew that I had the flair for it since I already had my short stint in CCP and 2 television guestings at a very early age. "Batibot" should have been my breakthrough when I was in grade school but it was my Dad who discouraged me and drove me to concentrate on my studies. I was also contemplating to enroll in the Philippine High School for The Arts in Los Banos, Laguna, majoring in acting but it was also my Dad who didn't even give me the chance to take the entrance exam. The only thing he approved of, was for me to work as an Usherette as a part time job when I was in 3rd year college so that I could still be exposed to the Arts. My Dad was right after-all. I graduated with honors in a science school, studied in a premier state university and currently living a "regular" life. I miss acting though. I miss the lights, the scripts, the emotions, the "break a leg" thing, and most of all, the applauses. I think that I still can pull some acting and my life experiences made me a lot better than before... Sigh!

Meeting With Fellow Alumni

It has been more almost 3 months since I got to meet the working group behind the Manila Science High School Alumni Foundation. I cannot comprehend until now why they call meetings on weekdays and after regular office hours. Weekends and night time are perfect for busy professionals and parents. Oh well.

Currently, the foundation would like to focus on fund-raising activities since their coffer is nearly running dry. It shouldn't have happened if they only plan ahead of time. Planning should be done annually and there should be a time table for everything. Just like in any organization, or even life itself, you should know how to foresee and be ready for the inevitable. Although I fully take into consideration that the foundation is a voluntary job and not a source of living. I think what they currently need are hot-blooded, agressive young people to carry on risk-taking tasks. I am not referring to myself though. I know a handful from my batchmates who have the time and energy to bring it on.

My love for my alma mater pushed me to volunteer to be a part of the fund-raising committee. I think that my little knowledge in handling events would be a great help for the foundation.

Dead or Alive (DOA)

My kid J has been on "vacation" since last Wednesday since their teachers are on retreat. Meaning, it's a night-out for me too since I can afford to stay late and wake up late hehehe.

Last night, Honey A and I went to Greenbelt 3 (that's the only place I'm comfortable with next to Powerplant Mall). I chose to watch a movie and it was only DOA (Dead Or Alive) which I think we would both appreciate. Since we came an hour earlier, we had to grab some food first in the nearby fastfood Wrapwich. My last meal (which was a cup of oatmeal) was at 4pm and I felt famished.

Dead or Alive is a fast-faced action/adventure movie. I enjoyed most the curves of the women. Just like Lara Croft, her sexiness added oomph to the moves. I have read that DOA is actually a video game. No wonder, the choreography was done in a different taste. Though over-all, it was much worthy of seeing it than any Tagalog movie hehehe.

My Dear Friend, Grace

I received a call from a very dear high school friend this evening. She is currently in Ilocos managing a restaurant business with her husband. She is a nurse by profession but chose to settle down in the province to raise a family.

I have known Grace since our 1st year in high school. She was my closest friend back then. I could vividly remember her White Linen (by Estee Lauder) perfume and Lavender cologne. There were numerous times I visited their place in Sta. Mesa and her whole family knew me. I have known Grace to be a very reserved yet funny person. Suddenly I missed her. Looking back then, I didn't know what happened why we grew apart. We didn't have any misunderstanding yet after the summer break of 1987, we had our own set of friends to tend to. We still greeted each other though all through our secondary years, but the closeness somewhat diminished. Now that we got to talk to each other again, the only right thing to do is pick up the pieces where we left of. Thanks to our batchmate who works in Ilocos since he was the one who gave my number to my dear friend.

Globe for Good

My home network delivered my new Nokia N73 yesterday at the office. It was only last Thursday that I got to call them and ask for a loyalty reward and here it is after 5 days, my very new camera phone, which I am still in the process of familiarizing. The funny thing is that the leading mobile network even had the guts to call me and ask if I was already given a unit by their competitor! The nerve! How could they afford to follow up after letting me wait for a month! Currently, I have two lines with my beloved network. And after showing their promptness and thoughtfulness (since they even called me a day before the delivery to confirm my choice of unit), I guess I have to stay with them forever. And that's what you call real LOYALTY! :)

Vocabulary 101

Cinderella Relationship - where everything has to end at midnight, however good it may be. It comes with a promise that tomorrow will be another day to start anew.

This is coined especially to my Cinderella Man, the modern day god who has the world in his hand but has to come home at the end of the day. The fairy tale version ends with a happy ending. Mine ends with just HOPES.

Days of Quandary

Lately I have been clouded by qualms regarding my personal intimate relationship. First of all, i have noticed that temptations from the workplace has risen now that I have gained few pounds and few inches. It seemed that the opposite sex found the excess curves more attractive. I never thought that the additional weight would translate to marketability. Secondly, it has becoming clear that my relationship with my current partner has already reached its highest peak. Meaning, it could no longer be taken into a higher level. Don't get me wrong. Honey A has far been the perfect man for me. I think that no other guy could be fitter than him. He satisfies me sexually and materially. In my 33 years of existence and after thorough soul-searching, he is the man who matches my over-all personality. As they say in Black Jack, I can already "stay" than ask for another card.

But then, it seemed that it is a dead-end for both of us. Sometimes in a relationship, you expect "more", where you can "really" be together. I have so much love for Honey A but our current situation hold me back more and more. It has been years, yet it has been only once that I got to "really" be with him. We haven't had vacations even just outside the city and I have a strong feeling that that's the way it's going to be until the end.

I always tell Honey A that admirers will always be around. I just pray that he be stricter which I really need during these days of difficulties. I know that I have earned his trust throughout the years, yet I need him to be stronger - for me at least.

The Mobile Predicament

It is exactly 4 weeks since I applied for a new line under the top mobile network company here in the Philippines. I was promised a Nokia N73 for the P2500 line. Due to my excitement, I even let go of my Nokia N70 hoping to get a new unit. After 3 weeks of waiting, I even requested for a downgrade to P1800 to get a Motorola V3x which I actually prefer. The N73 is supposed to be intended for Honey A. It was an exercise in futility to wait and follow-up every single day. I always get the same answer that "there has been no new deliveries" since the time I applied. How pity. I then emailed their customer service that they should stop having promos if they are having a hard time delivering their promise. It was then that I got back to my current network where I am a platinum member. Luckily, they are offering loyalty rewards and they'll be giving me the N73 for my Plan P1800! And the other network is giving me that at P2500?!! Hah!

I have told Honey A that I actually don't like N73 (that is, if I will be given a choice). It's almost the same as N70 though the camera has 3.2 megapixel and boy, the resolution is totally great. Camera is not a top priority because I have digicam. I was looking then for style, which I found in a Motorola Razr Phone since they were even awarded and that they issued a limited units of Dolce N Gabanna V3i Model. And who among fashion lover ladies would not want that?

Last night, I got to tinker Honey A's phone and realized that, hey, N73 is quite stylish after all. It has a sleek design and as I have told, a veeeery nice camera. And above all, there are only few people who currently possess that:)

Oody's and The Tavern on The Square

Finally I got to taste Thai Cuisine last Thursday when Honey A and I went to Greenbelt 3 for some time out. I actually did not expect that he'll take me out to dinner. I was thinking more of drinking and watching live bands that night. Since we were already in the vicinity, the most practical thing to do is to look for any Thai restaurant (as he promised long, long time ago) and we saw Oody's Thai Rice, Noodles 'N Bar at the 2nd level. Being the clueless one, I let Honey A order for both of us. I specially liked the Pad Thai Noodles though he found it sweet. We were both expecting the food to be somewhat spicy as I have strictly requested from the waiter a more "biting" taste. I guess Thai food is not as exotic as I imagined.

What I found sweet though, was how Honey A gamely took the picture of our food, not minding the group dining beside us. At least we got to prove how efficient his Nokia N73 can be when it comes to photos. I also found it so sweet how he carried my take out food outside the restaurant. It was the first time he has done that in five years of being together hehehe.

After the dinner, we moved to Tavern on the Square to have some drink and enjoy live bands. Unfortunately, it was Shamrock which was scheduled that night. Though I recognize rock songs, I still prefer mellow, jazz or pop music. We just finished the 1st set and no longer consumed the minimum rate since my ear drum could no longer tolerate the eardrum-breaking sound (you may call me an oldie if you like).

I really enjoyed that night even though it was a relatively short night out. At least I didn't wake up with a pounding head and stomach ache:)

Crown Regency Hotel

I received a call that I was one of the 15 "lucky" persons who were picked from joining their raffle during my visit to Philippine Travel Mart at SM Megamall last Friday. I couldn't remember joining any raffle though I know that I left a business card in one of the booths upon the request of a promo girl.

Apparently, it was a call from Crown Regency Hotel and they said that I won a 4-night and 3-day stay for 4 persons in either of their Davao or Cebu hotel (I chose the latter hehehe). All I have to do is claim the gift certificate personally at their Ortigas Office and bear the 30-minute presentation. I was also told that a Makati branch shall soon be opened near the Dusit Hotel. I won't have to pay anything, except the plane fare going to Cebu. I asked if there is a catch somewhere and the nice lady said that all they expect is for me to promote their hotels. Hah! Sometimes it's nice to be a marketeer amidst the pressure hehehe.

Now the problem is, whom shall I bring with me? I am not even considering Honey A. Why? He can't even bring me to Tagaytay nor Laguna for Christ's sake! My Kid? Nah! It's school season and she has to concentrate with studies. My parents? No problem if they are shouldering the plane fare, which I very well doubt. And that leaves me with the company of friends... Now whom shall I invite? Well, according to the nice lady, the offer is valid for 6 months, and that is long enough for me to think about it....:)

The Complexity of Simplicity

I already received 4 text messages from Honey A since I left the office. I chose not to reply to any of it because I find it absurd to care for a person using Short Messaging Service (SMS). Technology has its way to make life easier but when it comes to personal relationship, it then becomes very illogical. If you really care about a person, the best thing to do is to be with him/her as much as you can. No amount of technology nor machinery can beat the warmth of a touch and the sweet smell of a body. Ofcourse I can just simply reply so as not to let him worry, but then it will defeat the very purpose of a "relationship", in which I want him to understand....

My Future Artist

On my way home this evening, my kid and I played the Sitti album in my car. She came to like the Tagalong song "Para Sa Akin" as I have mentioned in a previous post. She told me that on Monday, each pupil in her Filipino class will render a talent stint where they are good at, and she chooses to sing the said song. I even downloaded the lyrics last Friday so that she can get each word right.

From Alabang to our home in Las Pinas, I think that we have repeated it 7 times and boy, she sang very well, overshadowing the voice of Sitti (i'm such a critic and a stage mother hehehe). Even her class adviser told me last week during a parent-teacher conference, that indeed, my kid J has a very fine voice. This teacher even encouraged me to let her join the school choir. But that's another story because her grades are still my priority.

And that brings me to the point that a mango tree will always bear a mango fruit:)

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

This afternoon, I had the luxury of time to watch My Super Ex-Girlfriend all by myself. I have been wanting to see it but due to its R-13 Rating, I had to wait for the perfect time when my kid would be busy to go to the mall with me.

Ofcourse it's a fantasy film belonging to the superhero genre. What fascinated me was that how the story was going to end (I tried not to read any review huh). In this age and time, women in power are slowly accepted in the society. This is best depicted in films such as this one. Even in the latest Superman film, Lois Lane transformed into the brainy reporter. It was funny how Matt Saunders (Luke Wilson) tried to dump the supergirl Jenny Johnson (Uma Thurman) and still ending in the arms of another supergirl Hannah Lewis (Anna Faris).

In the Philippine setting, male masculinity still prevails. Filipinos (based on most people I personally know) easily get turned off with powerful (or brainy) women. They still prefer "innocent" looking girls whom they can play with. And THAT, measures their manlihood!

When I was younger, there were a couple of men I have dated whom, I think, I have boosted their egos by playing dumb. I tried not to correct grammars, or a very wrong information, in my attempt to look likeable. I think I have succeeded in that part, but in the end, it was me who suffered. I didn't last any longer than a few weeks of dating and playing ignorant. I have come to realize that all I can do is be me. If I am good in Math, or eloquent in speaking, so be it. If they can't handle that, I think I deserve someone better. And that payed-off after years of searching. Nobody can fit better than my Honey A.

I may not be a Super Girlfriend, but my Super Honey A makes my life a Super Nice Place to live in:)

Sitti

This evening, Honey A handed over the CD of Sitti (Cafe Bossa) which contains her hit song Para Sa Akin (which I am currently listening while making this post). Jazz lovers will surely appreciate the Brazilian beat of bossa nova. It's so relaxing for long driving and will surely keep my mouth shut. Bossa nova is for listening and not for singing along.

Oh boy, I think I can't get enough of the songs and I can't even concentrate on this post. I better shut this off and continue when I get "better" hehehe.

Closing Doors

Just this morning, our neighbor in Ermita where my ex-hubby used to live called up. She said that my ex-J sought a favor to ask me to sign "some papers" he will be sending from the land of greener pasture. She didn't have to elaborate on that since after 8 years of living apart, everybody knows how the story is going to end. I felt indifference during the first 5 minutes of our conversation. But as I slowly analyze the situation, I came to comprehend that we, meaning my daughter and I, will be on the losing end.

On my way to pick up my kid from my parents' house, I kept on thinking on why does a relationship have to end when the only setback is the distance between two people. Doesn't love count anymore? How about when you share a kid you both wanted to have? For 8 years, I couldn't think of a single bickering that we had. Money was not an issue for I used to believe that THAT alone cannot make a relationship. We both worked: HE, to build a foundation for himself as he used to say; and ME, to sustain the beautiful child he left behind. I know that I was half to be blamed because I also lost track of time managing my work and my household.

I have always loved him, despite the pain he has given me. Even before I got the news, there was a tiny hope that maybe, just maybe, my family will be one again. He formed a great part of my youth and I couldn't be what I am now, if not for the memories he has given me. I know that he truly loved me in the past. What has happened has been beyond my control and yet I was still blessed with a daughter who has been my inspiration. I may not bear a child anymore due to health reasons, but what I have now is more than enough for me to be thankful.

As I always say, everything has a reason. God may have closed a door, but I know that He will open a window...