The Family Woman

I'm a big fan of families. I love having a complete one, where there is a mother, a father and kid/s. I admire those who have kept theirs through thick and thin. I came from a religious family. Although my mom married late (in her late 30's) and my dad was a notorious womanizer before they met, up until this moment they are still together and thank heavens, I didn't have half-siblings.

I still couldn't comprehend why my married life ended too soon. I was willing to give up a career to keep my own family intact when my ex-husband left for the US 8 years ago. It was a mutual decision for my kid and I to be left behind. It wasn't in my wildest dreams that I would never see him again. Though on the last moment our eyes locked, there was an eerie feeling that THAT would be the end of everything.

Deep in my heart i knew that I was a submissive kind of woman. I may have a strong personality, only if one lets me be. I value relationships, respect and space. Money was out of the picture, as what many many couples fight about. I just needed someone, my very own someone, to be with me to get through life.

I wallow myself in pity most of the time, especially when I come home to an empty house. I know that my kid is just around, but most of the time i find it hard to cope through things alone. This is the kind of occasion where I remember the happier times I was with my ex-husband (The melancholy! My tears are starting to fall!) I never felt alone, not even a single minute in that fruitful 3 1/2 years of my life. There were laughters and I see colors in everything. I just wish every single day that I get to feel the moments all over again.

I'm already 33, with a 9 year old kid to raise, a career to attend to, and a failing reproductive system. Nevertheless I still have faith. I know that someday I will have the wholeness of a family I have always dreamed of.